In This Skin

3:36PM - chemicals

You make me feel out of my element
Like I'm walking on broken glass
Like my world is spinning in slow motion
And you're moving too fast

Were you right, was I wrong
Were you weak, was I strong
Both of us broken
Caught in a moment
We lived and we loved
And we hurt
And we jumped
But the planets all aligned
When you looked into my eyes
And just like that
The chemicals react

You make me feel out of my element
Like I'm drifting out to the sea
Like the tide is pulling me in deeper
Making it harder to breathe
We cannot deny how we feel inside

Were you right, was I wrong
Were you weak, was I strong
Both of us broken
Caught in a moment
We lived and we loved
And we hurt
And we jumped
But the planets all aligned
When you looked into my eyes
And just like that
The chemicals react

Kaleidoscope of colors turning
Hopes on fire, sun is burning
Shining down on both of us
Don't let us lose it

Were you right, was I wrong
Were you weak, was I strong
Both of us broken
Caught in a moment
We lived and we loved
And we hurt
And we jumped
But the planets all aligned
When you looked into my eyes
And just like that
The chemicals react

3:18PM - :-)

Nobody.....
Wait, a minute...

Not a dream girl, not perfection
Never said that I was from Heaven
But, baby, I could be the closest that you met

I was looking for that someone
That don't exist and he wasn't
What you want, isn't always what you get

You want your girls to give advice
But you're always, always right
You want her naughty, then nice

You don't ever wanna fight
You wanna hang in there at home
Even when she's all alone
You want everything, but that's a dream

So tell me, tell me please
Who's gonna love you, baby
Who's gonna be there for you
Who's gonna keep the faith the way I do

Who's gonna hold you down
Pick you up off the ground
Who's gonna make your day that way that I do

Nobody, Nobody, Nobody

The grass is always greener
From where you're standing
Something sweeter

You never know just what you got til it's gone
Always looking

But I'm the real thing and that's a good thing
Cuz what I bring is really something

I'm the girl who will never

9:07PM

did my makeup
did my hair just the way you like it
still you seem to find something
that you dont like
you called me sexy
when we first began
im sorry this is the way i am
im crazy for giving you a chance

look what you did to me
cut me so deep
i need a doctor cause
this is startin to burn
dont try to fix it
__

8:44PM - SHATTERED GLASS

DID I WAKE YOU
WERE YOU SLEEPIN
WERE YOU STILL IN MY BED
OR IS A NIGHTMARE KEEPING YOU UP INSTEAD
IF YOU THINK YOURE HURTIN
YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING

WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT
WAS SHE EVERYTHING THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR
FEEL LIKE A MAN?
I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT
YOU CANT COME BACK
CAUSE ALL WE HAD
IS BROKEN LIKE SHATTERED GLASS

YOURE GONNA SEE ME IN YOUR DREAMS TONIGHT
MY FACE IS GONNA HAUNT YOU ALL THE TIME
I PROMISE THAT YOURE GONNA WANT ME BACK
WHEN YOUR WORLD FALLS APART
LIKE SHATTERED GLASS

ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE
FOCUSING THROUGHOUT THE DAY
DO YOU FIND YOURSELF STILL CALLING MY NAME
DO YOU WISH YOU COULD REWIND TIME
AND TAKE IT BACK
I BET YOU REALIZE THAT SHE
AINT HALF THE WOMAN I AM

8:30PM - Run aROUND

hold it up
high enough
so everybody sees our love
the way it was
the that it was then
but somethings changed
its rearranged
you tell me that you dont feel the same
maybe this is just that game you play
all i know is

you dont want me when i come around
and you dont listen to me
why dont you listen to me?
listen to me

theres no way that i can change your mind
your heart is settled on
leaving me behind
maybe youre not the one for me

because you dont want me when i come around
and you dont listen to me
why cant you listen to me?
please listen to me

the sun shines on brighter days
im trying to pry myself away
from sitting in the shade waiting for rain
if i could think of a thing to do
if i had to choose
id wanna stay
laying
right here. next. to. you.

Current mood: calm

Current music: beyonce- single ladies

8:07PM - you & your lies----

I cannot remember
how any of this began
up and downs
drowning in your eyes
wrapped into you
like we were supposed to be one
suddenly i got
swept away
i had no boundaries
and now im seeing
for the first time
how i never had
a chance
im lost in your lies
when you touch me
its so out of place
like a piece of you
is holding something back
everything you said
you never felt it and
now youre seeing
that you dont even know
how any of this began

Current mood: calm

9:53PM - thinking...

:)

10:02PM - ;)

nasty freaky
all words they use
to describe me
i dont care what they say
im into it all
dont deny you want it
cause we have our
own tendencies
have our share of
obsenitites
we all got needs


i wont make any apologies
im into phonography
and i like my buttons coming lose
when my mind starts to roam
bluetooth cause i need my hands free

hes got service
i got service
we can talk all night
ready, set, go

lets talk biology
you pretend youre next to me
ill provide the fantasy
phonography
talk that sexy talk to me
keep it confidential
its between you and me
dirty talking, phonography

if youre all alone
take me on speakerphone
what im about to say
i just for your ears
if you need to hit me back
i got a 69 for that

8:43PM - BITCH IS DANGEROUS.

FRENCH FINGERTIPS. RED LIPS.
BITCH IS DANGEROUS.
COTTON CANDY KISS.
CANT WAIT FOR MY SUGAR RUSH.

CANT TAKE IT NO MORE.
I GOT TO HAVE MORE TONIGHT.
THIS FEELINGS SO STRONG.
IM PUTTING YOU ON TONIGHT.

TAKE A SEAT. EYES ON ME.
THIS IS MY SHOW.
YOUR ONE AND ONLY PLEASURE.
ALL DECKED IN LACE. AND LEATHER.
FANTASY...COURTESY, ALL ON ME
WATCH ME APPLY THE PRESSURE

HEELS- 6 INCHES
MAKES A BOY WANT TO BITE HIS LIP
LOOK. BUT DONT TOUCH.
UNLESS YOU WANT TO...LOSE YOUR INNOCENCE

8:19PM - i ...

i bust the windows out of your car
and, no, it didnt mend my broken heart
ill probably always have these ugly scars
but, right now, i dont care about that part

i did it
after i saw you laying next to her
i didnt want to but i took my turn
im glad i did it cause you had to learn

i must admit it helped a little bit
to think of how you felt when you saw it
i didnt know i had that much strenght
but im glad

you see you cant play with peoples feelings
tell them you love them and dont mean it
you probably say it was juvenile
but i think that i deserve to smile

i bust the window out of your car
you know i did it cause i left my mark
my initials with a crowbar
and then i drove out in the dark
you should feel luck thats all i did
after all your bullshit
gave you all of me and you played with it

bust the windows out
but it could never comfort my broken heart
you could never feel how i felt that day
until that happens, you dont know pain

i aint sorry
you deserved it
after what you did to me
yes i did it
i aint sorry

you broke my heart
you cause me pain
i had to do something to make you hurt

but why am i still crying

now watch me
i bust the windows out of your car
and drove off into the dark

Current mood: content

Current music: beyonce-single ladies

9:09PM - xoxo

all i want is everything.
the person i fell in love with.

8:04PM - if*****

if i were a boy/even just for a day/i’d roll out of bed in the morning/and throw on what i wanted then go/drink beer with the guys/and chase after girls/i’d kick it with who i wanted/and i’d never get confronted for it/cause they’d stick up for me.

if i were a boy/i think i could understand/how it feels to love a girl/i swear i’d be a better man/i’d listen to her/cause i know how it hurts/when you lose the one you wanted/cause he’s taken you for granted/and everything you got destroyed.

if i were a boy/i would turn off my phone/tell everyone it’s broken/so they’d think that i was sleeping alone/i’d put myself first/and make the rules as i go/cause i know that she’d be faithful/waiting for me to come home

it’s a little to late for you to come back/say it’s just a mistake/

think i’d forgive you like that/

but you’re just a boy/you don’t understand.../how it feels to love a girl/someday/you’ll wish you were a better man/you don’t listen to her/you don’t care how it hurts/until you lose the one you wanted/cause you’ve taken her for granted/and everything you had got destroyed...but you’re just a boy

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: pussycat dolls ***if i was a MaN***

10:25PM - untitled

Waiting to see the light
I've been waiting all my life
Show me a way
would you show me a way


I want to come out of the dark
But taking away is just so hard
Show me a way
Please just show me a way

Show me which way to go
Can’t do this by myself
Don’t know how I should play
The cards that I’ve been dealt
Can’t do this
Anybody...

Is anybody listening?
Can anybody answer my prayer?
Please say yes
Does anybody feel the same?
And is there anybody who cares?
Life’s unfair


I want something more than this
I’ve given all I can give
Show me the way
Won’t you show me the way


I just want to feel I belong
I just need the strength to be strong
Show me a way
Please, would you show me a way


Show me which way to go
Can’t do this all alone
Don’t feel that I know how
To make it on my own
Is anybody here?

Is anybody listening?
Can anybody answer my prayer?
Please, say yes
Does anybody feel the same?
And is there anybody who cares?
Life’s unfair

Is anybody listening?
Can you hear me?
Is anybody listening?

10:12PM - POETRY

 WHEN I STAND IN A CROWED ROOM
SOMETIMES I FEEL ALONE LIKE NOBODY'S THERE
AND WHEN YOU SPEAK 
YOU'RE SO COLD TO ME
I CAN SEE YOUR BREATH IN THE AIR
IT'S TAKING A TOLL ON ME
I STAY IN THE BATHROOM TAKING SHOWERS
SO YOU WON'T SEE  ME CRY
BUT IT'S SUCH A CRIME
I'VE TRIED TO FEEL CONFIDENT
I'M BITTER, AND YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE
I MISSED YOU UNTIL YOU ALMOST TOOK
MY SANITY AWAY
I'M STARTING A NEW VERSE
YOURE LIKE POETRY
HIDING BEHIND THE WORDS YOU SPEAK
CHANGING THE WORDS OF THE STORY
YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME
I FEEL YOU DON'T LOVE ME
I'M FIGHTING 
YOU'RE HIDING BEHIND THE WORDS
THAT YOU'RE SPEAKING
CHANGING THE WORDS 
I'M LOST IN THE VERSE
YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME
WHY ARE YOU HIDING?

WHEN I GIVE YOU GRATITUDE
YOU DON'T HEAR MY SPEAK
AND WHEN I TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO TO ME
YOU NEVER HEAR THE TRUTH
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?

I STARE OUT THE WINDOW FOR HOURS
BECAUSE YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME
YOU WON'T EVEN LOOK ME IN THE EYES
I'M STARTING A NEW VERSE

YOU'RE LIKE POETRY 
HIDING BEHIND THE WORDS YOU SPEAK
CHANGING THE WORDS OF THE STORY
YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME
I FEEL YOU DON'T LOVE ME
I'M FIGHTING
YOU'RE HIDING BEHIND THE WORDS 
YOU'RE SPEAKING
CHANGING THE WORDS
I'M LOST IN THE VERSE
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

DON'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
I READ YOUR FACE AND I'M BLANKING
CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S IN FRONT OF MY FACE

YOU'RE LIKE POETRY
HIDING BEHIND THE WORDS YOU SPEAK
CHANGING THE WORDS OF THE STORY 
WHY ARE YOU HIDING?


 

Current mood: content

8:13PM - onion

I like to think of each person as being like an onion. We all have many layers that make is in to a well-round individual. Every person we meet and every experience we have creates these layers and influences who we are, what we think, what we do, and even what we like. Sometimes, we don't realize that things change us until later on down the road, but i believe that everything happens for a reason…even if it is a negative thing. Lately, life hasn't been a fun time for me, and it has ren hard to believe that there is a reason as to why everything happens the way it has been. I having been doing my best to keep my head up, but I can't say that it has been easy. I am not the type of person to show my emotions and tell people what is wrong. To be honest, the past two weeks have been pretty hard on me though I've tried not to let it show. I lost both of my grandpas and a friend. Sometimes i find myself wondering who else I will lose and how. People don't have to die for you to lose them. I've never been one for change, especially when that change envolves moving on in life without someone. I've been hurt by a lot of people in my life so I've put up walls and have learned to be careful who I let share my life. I am very close to most of the people in my family, especially my grandpas. growing up they were both like fathers to me and I have always looked up to them. i know it will be hard to move on without them in my life everyday, but it is going to be really hard. You can't pick your family members but I feel lucky to have the family I have. Friends have always been hard for me to get over. Friends are the people in your life that you get to pick out, and we always try to pick people that will stand by our side and not hurt us. We form bonds with them and tell them facts about us and sooner or later we find out the we are very similar or very different from one another. when they leave us, for one reason or another, a void is created.
TO BE CONTINUED… :-)

8:37PM - speak up

It isn't polite to ask what someone else makes per year. Or how much their mortgage is costing them. And I was taught that it isn't even very "PC" to corner someone about their chosen political party. I typically keep a safe distance from all things that could even be considered slightly offensive. However, I think it is important to understand that it is politically correct to have a voice under our current circumstances.

So, I am going to venture into uncharted territory and probably push some buttons in the process. Before I decided to piss my parents off and get a biology degree, my first passion in education was law (my father fully supported this idea). This by no means makes me an expert, but I have always paid attention to what was going on in the world. I think it is extraordinarily important for young people to educate themselves in politics and current events.

With that being said, I think everyone is tired of hearing about change. Yes, it is so very important. It is about time we change the direction our economy, educational and healthcare systems are headed. But a part of me feels like our candidates are using the word too freely. Sort of like throwing around the big "L" word. To be honest, after having a republican in office for eight years.. any democrat would bring about change, its inevitable.

I believe for the first time since Kennedy ran for president, we have an incredible line-up of seriously capable, history-making, candidates. Lucky for us, they all have the same motive. They are all passionate about this country and bettering it for our generation by keeping us out of recession and making our lives positive and successful. However, there are two stark contrasts in the line-up: one is a black man and the other, a white woman.

I for one, never believed to see either one in my lifetime, let alone simultaneously and running against each other. I feel so blessed to be a part of a country where I can not only vote, but have two candidates of such diversity on the ballot.

Which brings me to this.

This election should not be about race or gender. It should not be about who could be assassinated and who won't. It should not be about who is digging up dirt on whom. It is about policy and leadership. We are teetering on the brink of a huge economic black cloud if the right choice is not made. We have lost too many men overseas and we need to ask what is more important; winning the war or ending it? That is not to mention the other issues at hand. I read somewhere yesterday that somewhere in the ballpark of two million CAPABLE high school graduates next year will not go to college simply because they cannot afford it. This is simply unacceptable. And then there are the issues of a struggling middle-class America, gay rights, saving our environment, Medicare.. the list goes on.

And just as contrasting as the issues may be, the candidates follow suit.

Yes, the sad part of our world is that due to his revolutionary stance Obama could be assassinated just for being different. But wouldn't that make us all racial hypocrites for not voting for him for that reason alone?

On the other hand, we have a woman. The tears unfortunately didn't do it for me. I support what the Clinton "dynasty" has done in New York and what they have worked for in the past. But is this a partnership we are willing to support for another go round? Again, I am not so sure. They had eight years to promote change and instead they just set up what Bush failed to do. And while experience is key, maybe it is time we have a fresh face with a new perspective leading this country (whoever that may be).

I am sick of all the media hype on these two for all the wrong reasons. I focus on them because I believe they hold the solutions to some very real problems going on today. They seem to be the best well-rounded and the most refreshing thing our government has seen in quite some time. This is what an election should be about; solutions to our nation's issues. Forget the race and gender cards. They are only what you make them.

Time will tell, and I am sure that so will CNN.

I have watched and I have listened, and I will continue to do so up till November. Much could change over the next few months, including my opinion. The one thing that I am sure will not change, is the fact that I will be participating in our choice this year. It may very well be the most important choice we make. As young people, this election is crucial for our future - and I hope plenty of you acknowledge that. Your voice does count. And we are blessed to have people on both parties who value our voices and respect our decisions.

You can voice your opinion; I welcome it seeing as how I just voiced mine. But I hope that the most important thing you gathered from this is how crucial this year is. Don't take our rights as citizens for granted.

Current mood: dorky

Current music: natasha bedingfield

6:03PM - is it you?

Looking back, if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would. I feel like I am crazy for saying that, but going through everything has taught me so much. Not just about other people, but about myself. I took a step back today, and took some time to really think about some things. I have to let it all go, and I have to make a decision that could possibly change the rest of my life. How do you know which way to go when you're standing at a crossroad? I think that sometimes I get too caught up in how the past is affecting my present that I don't stop to think about what's going to happen in my future. Everyday new things happen, relationships change, and the world keeps on spinning. You choose who you let in to your life, so you should choose those people carefully. The problem though, is that many times, people front. How can you be sure that you're getting the real deal and that you won't get hurt further on down the road? I guess that is a chance you got to take. Without taking chances, you would miss out on letting some really amazing people in to your life. But, I guess my question is more like, what do you do after they hurt you? There are several options. You can never talk to them again and kick them out of your life, you could listen to all they have to say and forgive them but still not let them continue to be in your life, or you give them another chance. Some people would argue that everyone deserves a second chance. I tend to think that I believe the same thing, but for me, it depends on the circumstance. Some situations just need to be walked away from, and others stand a chance at being resolved. It seems though, that deciding what to do is not an easy decision. I've tried my best to move on from what has been going on, but Lord knows it has not worked. Everyday I feel like I have moved on, but inevitably, I end up right back where I started a few weeks ago. I've asked questions, but I've been getting different answers, so I don't know who I ask anymore. I'm at a dead end in trying to figure things out that way, and the last time I tried, I created another swell of drama. Step 1, stepping away from the situation as a whole and putting it behind me. It is something that I will probably never understand. Step 2, not talking about it unless absolutely necessary, and Step 3, moving on. I know that I am capable of moving on,  I just need to put more effort in to it. And, that is not to say that I am going to not let certain people be a part of my life, it just means deciding what role they are going to play in my life. Someday, I hope that I can have a genuine outlook on all that has happened and that I can understand why it all happened. Someday.
To Be Continued..............

8:54PM - my heart doesn't want to let go

I guess  there comes a time in everyone's life when they end up at a crossroads. I know that I have reached one recently. The point where you know that you should let go of something, but for some reason, you just can't. I have this internal struggle going on inside of me, and my heart just doesn't want to let go. My mind knows that I need to move on from everything that has happened, and I know I've tried to move on from it. There's just one problem. I can't leave him alone. That's the tricky thing about being in love...about really being in love with someone. It doesn't matter how deep they hurt you, there is something that makes you want to hold on to them. Every morning, every night, I tell myself that I am going to cut the cord, that I won't talk to him any more because all that happens is me getting more upset. Emotional rollercoasters are not fun, but that is what I have been on for the past month or so. I wish I could just get off of this ride and forget it. I have days where I can't deal with any of it, and days where I am perfectly fine with everything. I do want to feel like this. I want to feel like I used to, like i  was fine. I'm a forgiving person and I just want things to work out, so I told myself that if I forgave him and continued to talk to him, things would eventually work out and  while we may not be together, we would at least be friends. I can't ever just leave someone behind, but in times like these, honestly, I wish I could. I want to be able to say that I am done, that we are no longer anything to one another, and that we will no longer have any communication with one another. But I can't, and for that, I get angry with myself. I've always been the type to follow my heart...always. It kills me that the love I have for someone who hurt me so much will not go away and makes me want to continue trying to work things out. I don't really want everyday to be a struggle to feel happy anymore. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to people around me. So today, I have resolved to do anything and everything that makes me happy. I just want to be happy, and I am going to do what makes me feel that way....

live  well, laugh often, love much xx0 NICKY

Current mood: angry

Current music: I Want You----Savage Garden

11:46PM - i'm walking away...gonna find a better day

   Well, I am finally back on this thing after a few months. It's not like I haven't had anything to write, in fact, it's the opposite, I just haven't really had the time.  But now that I am back, I hardly know where to start.

    I always like to think that things happen for a reason, but it's hard to always have that attitude. Sometimes, I just want to know "why me?" Like, what did I do to deserve this. And most of the time, I can not come up with a single answer. Then, I turn to my friends to ask for advice, but I always get stuck with the answers that I already knew.
    But lately, I have so many questions that I need answers to. Tell me why.

9:23PM

 <td width="30"> </td>  <td> </td> 

the 26, revised.

1. One day you will have lots of questions. Just know that when you are ready, I am ready to answer them for you. I hope you continue taking the path that you are. You are too smart and compassionate to let it all go to waste. If I seem like the bad guy, it is only because I am shielding you from what I am afraid you already know. But you don't have to figure all that out now. Enjoy this time while it lasts, you have much to look forward to. And you have my promise that I will never leave you.

2. You are probably not aware of the depth you poccess, or that I even notice. Why would I really? I can't honestly put a finger on it, but I think you are an incredible person with profound talent. There is alot you have to say and it will come out in the most beautiful ways. I just hope I am close enough to witness it for myself. Keep growing and evolving because it will take you places you never imagined.

3. I just can't help but be disappointed. We don't talk about it, but I am. The only thing you have taught me is how not to be. Which I suppose is something to be greatful for in retrospect. However, I intend on breaking the chain. You probably won't understand.

4. I don't give you enough credit. We may not always agree but we are more alike than I would ever like to admit. Your jokes are always funny, even if I am being too stubborn to laugh. And I am so proud to have you in my life. I can't tell you how sorry I am for waiting so long to open my eyes. Better late than never, I suppose. I will do my best to make it up to you, even if only by making you proud.

5. You are the family I never had. You held my hand in my lowest of lows, even fed me when I couldn't eat. I miss you now more than ever but I can't find it within myself to reach out again. I know time has passed and out paths went in different directions but I want you to know I am thankful for you. I hope you are happy.

6. I don't understand you in the least. You came as quickly as you went, but I feel as if there is alot left to learn. I think you should take the blinders off. Stop hiding, it makes you look weak.

7. You are a part of me, as I am a part of you. That will never change. Someday maybe you will find what you are looking for, or maybe not. Either way, I am greatful that you let me go. I was damaged enough as it was. I think I will hold onto the last time we saw each other as what I choose to remember. You and I are dangerous; passionately careless. I hope that you learn from past mistakes, although I am not sure that is something you are capable of. That much is up to you. You are a damned as you seem, a beautiful disaster.

8. I will always be supportive because I love you. I can't say I would do what you are doing but I trust you are making the right decision. And if not, I will be there for you then too. I am happy that you are happy and I know how dark the clouds look lately. I am so honored to have such a major role in this next chapter. I love you, and always will.

9. I don't think time has anything to do with it. I think fate brought us together for a very specific purpose and I honestly could not be more appreciative. I am blown away by your courage and strength. Don't ever settle on anything less than the best. You are my chosen family and I couldn't have asked for a better person to be in my life. I want to thank you for sharing this journey with me and I hope we continue to share it for many years to come.

10. I am so drawn to you. I haven't felt this way in a really long time, and it has taken much to keep it at bay. I was honest and forthcoming and it took alot for me to do so. It is probable that nothing will come of it, but I think maybe it is because you just aren't ready. Which is unfortunate for me, but not really surprising. I enjoyed letting my inhibitions go out the window with you - it showed me that it was still possible.

11. I am really saddedned  by your behavior. I hate that you throw yourself around, but really it is not my business to care. I think you have it all wrong, and like most - you are choosing the easy way out by being ignorant. You'll be lucky if you make it through to the other side. I wish you would set a higher standard for yourself, well.. not just for you, but for everyone else too.

12. You are lucky to have the people in your life that you do. I hope one day you see the larger picture and realize that sometimes less is more, in more ways than one. Some lines just should not be crossed and you flirt with betrayal more than is appropriate.  I care and I think deep down there is someone real in there, you just haven't found them yet. Be you.

13. I never met you, but I sure wish I could have. For a while I was too young to realize the damage you inevitably caused. But now I have questions, and lots of them. She may not be angry, but I am. You lost control and your selfish decisions got you nowhere. However, the repercussions are long-term and they will be something I continue to deal with. Of course there is no going back now, whats done is done.

14. You have nothing on me. You waste your time trying to get under my skin, and its not getting you anything other than a crazy reputation. You are transparent and completely immature. You are only worried about my actions because you feel threatened. How many times do I have to make it clear that you aren't a threat? The only thing I wish for you is that eventually you will understand how ridiculous all this is. Its sad that you make everyday decisions based on someone no longer even in the picture.

15. You just took a big step in your life. To be honest, I was a little worried but I know you want something better than you had. So go get it. Keep up your hard work and let those around you help when they offer it. I am always here if you need me and I am so proud of you.

16. You are a joy. I think the world of you and I am so blessed to have our friendship. I know sometimes this life is discouraging, but keep your head up. I promise you the final outcome will be worth the wait. You were there when I needed you, probably the reason I even made it this far, so I am here to return the favor. All you have to do is call. (or I will.)              

17. I am so thankful to have you in my life. It took me a while to let you in, but I am glad you kept trying. Finally, I have someone I can lean on. I appreciate your loving words and including me in your life. It couldn't have happened at a better time. See you soon.

18. We understand each other better than most people I know. I am so glad we have connected again. I can't wait to spend time with you in the next few months, I think it will be great. You know, I am blown away but how completely pulled together you are. Impecable, always. You have appraoched life with a priceless sense of humor and I know it will get you so far.

19. I don't know how you do it. You are so accomplished and fiercely good at everything you do. I miss having you around every day but eventually we will get to make up for lost time. I love you and keep working hard!

20. You always seem to be there right when I need you the most. We don't see each other as often as we should, but I know that I can always count on you. This was a sort of accidental friendshsip, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. You are beautiful inside and out.

21. Thank you for fueling the fire. The drive that I have is due to your constant pushing. You never let me settle and that mindset is with me forever. Like you said, I will always be one of your little girls. I am so proud of the many gifts you have given me and will always cherish the fond memories we shared.

22. You were the big sister I never had. You too pushed me and kept me on my toes, literally. We have so much to be proud of, but I am in awe of your courage to try something new! You are good at everything you do and I know you will be happy in whatever you end up doing. Thank you for teaching me and encouraging me.

23. I'm sorry I disappear. But you have to understand that is a life I am not going back to. I miss you, but I cannot have one without the other. In many ways, I am just looking out for me. I know you have alot on your plate anyway - and I hope you stay safe and make good decisions. I'm really just a phone call away. I'll always love you and our long talks.

24. I don't think anything you say is ever legitimate. I made a mistake, and if I could take anything back - it would be that. You just don't deserve it, none of it. And if you continue to go where you are headed, you'll end up getting yours. What goes around comes around. Manipulation is what has made you popular. I see right through it.

25. I think about you alot. You have been such a good friend. And I am so proud of you for turning yourself around, I couldn't have handled loosing you. I love talking to you and I hope it happens more often. See you soon. 

26. You're so much more than anything I ever thought. You're the castle to my fish, but even more so, your'e a big warm blanket than I wrap myself into.  I'm sorry I don't give you the time you deserve; thanks for being so amazingly understanding. Ups and downs,but you're always fluffy.

27.  I never thought we'd be what we are now. It's hard, but easy at the same time. I know I can be crazy, and you just balance that out.  The things that drive me crazy about you are the same things that draw me to you. You're everything.

Current mood: content

Current music: bobby valentino